Native American from the Mohican tribe. Writer, Peer Specialist, YouTube Partner.

Posts tagged ‘domestic violence’

Women of the Dawn

Poetry

Woman of the Dawn

by Wenona Gardner
Waapan Alaangweew (Morning Star)
Stockbridge-Munsee band of Mohican Nation

I am the heart of my family,
I am the center of my community
I carry the nation on my back
I carry the life of tomorrow in my soul.

I rise above the violence.
Bones heal. Bruises fade. My fear I face.
The rage I channel to protect myself.
To protect my children.
I walk away from the destruction
with my Great Creator by my side.

I am the one who can change the tide.
I am the one who will say STOP!
No more forever.

For I am the Woman of the Dawn
I rise with the morning sun.
Blazing with light, love, and hope.
I hold the future within me.

National Aboriginal Circle Against Family Violence

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she didn’t just survive~ she became.

That’s what my refrigerator magnet says on my refrigerator. It reminds me that yes I have been through alot of difficult challenges in my life, but it also speaks about my ability to move beyond that and to thrive! Yes THRIVE! I love that word! It contains  such power, magic, and possibility. I really want to connect in this way with myself, get out of my own way, and shine out in the world. Now I feel I am the healthiest I have ever been and I feel great!

When I was at the women’s retail store and wellness sanctuary and taking the Life GPS course I see that the course has helped me be sharper in focus on what I really want in life. I felt the day I started the course 14 weeks ago I was way off course.  The man who runs the Life GPS course is a Life Coach by the name Rick Paddock. He is intensely beautiful and highly sensitive guy. I don’t really trust guys in general. Though I felt I could trust Rick and I talk alot to him. Rick sponsored me for NAMI Walks where I raised $285 in my very first walk.  He took great joy when I explained how well things went with NAMI Walks that it was a great celebration of both my physical and mental health recovery. When I was walking the walk by myself because the group walked much faster ahead than I, I talked to the Creator and expressed gratitude about all the good in my life. I am grateful for all the things that Creator does and doesn’t do. I filmed my walk as I was walking NAMI Walks but the camera was bouncing with every step I take. So I don’t know how I can make it work to get a video on the net with it. I was thinking about using the footage in the park and narrating over talking about some of thoughts and prayers that came to me as I walked the walk. So, Rick is a huge supporter of mine. He leaves me really heartfelt emails and hugs me alot. He listens to me when I talk about my novels, he says I am an empath, and that I am highly sensitive.  He speaks highly of me to Dani the store owner and said he really thinks I am something special and wants to work closer with me. Rick is concerned I don’t always put my needs first and that I give too much to other people because I am a caregiver. He is right about that, I have a hard time telling people what I need. He gets excited when I tell him about my creative dreams and the creative projects I have been working on or developed. During the last session we were talking about the Tree of Life and I latched into wanting to define my Life Purpose which the handout says is the trunk of the tree. I had all kinds of questions about that and he was helping me to clarify that. He said he has a Life Purpose exercise he wants to bring into the course next month. After the last LIFE GPS course he surprised me by asking me to write or make a video testimonial for him for his website. I am so honored he asked me to do that. Which is really great.  I shared my history of being abused by men,  I told him having a positive male relationship helps me to heal my female spirit.

Yes, that is a step I took to become. I also wrote a book titled “Resentments” which I finally expressed all the things and people that I was angry about. Usually, I never really expressed my anger. I just bottled it up and wasn’t even aware that I was angry. I experienced alot of injustices in my life. I wasn’t allowed a sacred space growing up to freely express my emotions. But today I now give myself that gift. I am so grateful that I can let this all go. That I can honor my feelings and now reach towards forgiveness. This book I worked on for over a year and has become a life transforming experience. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I was able to clean out the cup and be empty to receive all the love and good in this world in my life. I am open and receptive. I am free.

Love,

Buffy

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