*****Trigger warning abuse****
Hello. I just joined today because my sister recommended Bloggess. I have Bipolar Disorder and PTSD. I was first hospitalized when I was 16 after my father sexually assaulted me and then I was sexually assaulted in the foster home I was placed in by a 26 year old foster brother. Then when I was 23 my boyfriend cheated on me while I thought I was pregnant and he got the girl pregnant at the same time. He then physically assualted me and I miscarried. That’s when I had my first breakdown. I was told by the doctor I had seen too much trauma. Since then I have hospitalized 20 times.
I hate having a mental illness. My mother has a mental illness and so does my grandmother. I grew up seeing mental illness through them before I was diagnosed. All three of us have been disabled because of our mental illness. I was heartbroken when my mother told me I wasted my time getting my bachelor’s degree from college because I am disabled.
I am writing my memoir and it sucks that the majority of my life has been about mental illness. There is no way I can tell my story without it. For awhile I tried working on a crisis line but the calls triggered me so I had to stop working.
I dream of being a writer like Julia Cameron. She has a mental illness to but somehow she managed to write 44 books. I wish I knew how to become a successful writer.
Thanks for listening to me.