Intentional peer support is learning and growing together.
Intentional peer support is about understanding how we’ve learned to make sense of our experience.
To be self aware means I think before I react.
Connection is when people are paying attention to each other.
Worldview is the way you’ve learned to understand things.
Mutuality in a paid relationship means that although the paid person has more responsibility initially, both people should be learning from other.
It is important to be aware of mutuality because sharing power gives us both the opportunity to learn and grow.
If you are moving towards, you are clear about what you want, and where you want to be.
An example of “moving towards what you want…” is getting some education.
The use of language is important because language creates reality.
In the first contact conversation I have with a peer we have a conversation that both explains and models peer support.
Good listening involves making eye contact.
Listening from a position of not knowing means not assuming you know what someone means.
Listening for the untold story means paying attention to body language, tone of voice and feelings.
When someone tells you that they’re not feeling great, you probably should just listen and validate their experience.
The kind of questions you ask matter because sometimes questions we ask are based on our needs and therefore lead people down a different path.
It’s useful to use a “relevant change story” when… you’re trying to help “open up” their story.
An example of the task of mutuality is building a relationship where both people learn and grow.
An example of an observation is “I have a schedule that takes up 40 hours of my week.”
Considering someone’s worldview means trying to understand their perspective.
Boundaries … where you end and I begin.
An important boundary to set in peer support is not taking advantage of someone because of your power.
Flexible boundaries are when you negotiate what will work for both of you.
Mutual responsibility involves mutually taking responsibility for each other.
Mutual responsibility involves both people making up the rules of the relationship.
Getting out of the Victim Prosecutor Rescuer cycle involves using the four tasks 1) connection, 2) worldview, 3) mutuality, 4) and moving towards to create something that meets everyone’s needs.
One of the ways we might abuse our power is to be unaware of it.
It’s important to have an awareness of power because then we can talk about how it might get in the way.
Bias and privilege…sometimes get in the way how we see.
Strong feelings tell us we need to stay aware of our hot buttons.
Shared risk means you negotiate what safety will look like in the relationship.
It’s important to think about safety as a comfortable feeling that allows you to take risks.
When you’re feeling uncomfortable in a situation you should be honest about it.
Negotiating reality means understanding that my reality and your reality might be different but they’re both “true.”
When someone tells you’re they’re feeling suicidal find out what that means for them.